Tomorrow afternoon my cousin's daughter will get married. Sadly, we are unable to afford to fly up for the wedding. I would like to have gone but between work and cost to fly, I could not be there. I feel almost as though I am letting my cousin down. She was there for my wedding and except for my parents she was the only family that I had at my side when Alan and I were married. I know that there will be plenty of family there and my presence will not be missed.
I spent a couple of summers with my cousin and her husband when I was in my pre-teen years. Unfortunately, I was too young when my cousin's daughter was at the same age I was then to recreate the same experience for her.
There are lot fewer years between my cousin's daughter and me than there are between my cousin and I. I remember when I found out that my cousin was having her daughter and how excited I was awaiting the news that she had arrived. I remember shopping and getting a huge box together to send to them. I was a little younger than my daughter is now. Being an only child, I looked forwarded to doing things with her as she got older. Unfortunately, those things never happened. The travel distance was too great. Add to that, I am horrible at writing letters. No, it is not really the writing letters part that I have a problem with it is remembering where the address book is and actually putting it in the mailbox. I guess bottom line while I was busy growing up so was she.
Despite the things that we did not get to do and the time that passed while we were both growing up, my cousin's daughter will always have a special place in my heart. So with that said, I offer these hopes for her:
1. I hope that the man she has chosen has proven himself worthy of the "little girl" that I hold dear in my heart and memories (yes she has grown up but I remember the little girl I spent a couple of summers with that thought Shamu was the best thing)
2. I hope that she finds the same contentment and security within her marriage as I have found in mine
3. I hope that he is at least half as terrific as my husband
Most of all I wish for her complete happiness. I really regret that I am not there to wish her in person all these things.